Dear Neighbour…

Dear New Neighbour Downstairs, Hullo! My name’s Sadie. Your new neighbour upstairs. Not the one with a beard that puts the rubbish out – that’s Matt. I’m the one that got stuck by her scarf to the gate the other day. I don’t know if you were watching. I hope you weren’t; I could have…

The Lady & The Beard

Women have always had a lot to fret about. In the olden days it was all consternation over how to keep whites white when the stream was muddy, how to prove they weren’t a witch before loonies killed them, or how to fend off amorous Vikings flushed from a successful day’s pillaging. Now we have…

The Unbearable Slowness of Weeing

I’ve always been a bit of a slow lass. Not slow in mental functions as such, (although that sometimes too), but slow at getting things done. I always knew I wouldn’t be able to fulfil my dream of running a sandwich bar for example; I had to face facts – I would make my customers…

119 Pens

Pens. Anybody need any pens? I’ve got 119, and that’s after the clear-out. That is also excluding the box in the other room, the ones in a pot at my new flat, and the ones that render me blotchy every day because they’re languishing broken in my handbag. Some of you might ask if one…