To Be A Prince: Little Harry’s Coconut Beret

Prince Harry, eh? Naughty Prince Harry. (Pauses to picture ‘Little Harry’.) Tut tut tut. So, while I’ve been brushing up on my image-enhancing software skills, I’ve been thinking…if the chess-board was to be modernised and the dude on the horse was to be lobbed out in favour of a prince – what would the little…

The Tale of Pussy Riot

I’ve never been to a pussy riot, but I’m willling to wager it’s a pretty full on experience. The clue’s in the name. Pussy Riot. WOAH. It definitely sounds like something you need a good nap before, and possibly a Red Bull to get you started. Maybe some Kleenex, or a code word for “let’s…

The Making of the Spin Cycle Canon: 50 Shades of Grey

I have a dirty confession. You know that ‘rudey’ book that everyone’s been banging on about (and to)? I read a bit. Yes – after weeks of ignoring the existence of 50 Shades of Grey – of not knowing the author’s name or anything about the ‘plot’ – I finally caved. A friend had a…

Ordinary Gods

As someone who has opted not to have a telly or internet at home it’s been quite tricky to keep abreast of the Olympics. From time to time while walking my dog I hear the occasional rousing group squeal coming from a nearby house – or that strange slow ascending “ooooaaarrrr” that humans do naturally…

The Funny Thing About Rape…

It was once my guilty pleasure to become friends with a man who said he’d like to wipe my fake tan off with his spunk. This man was a comedian called Jim Jefferies, and I deserved it. I had just heckled him (I don’t remember what with, probably just a polite hello as he came…

The Pass-It-On Wisdom of Axl Rose

A wise man just told me that a wise man once told him that a wise man once said “I don’t worry because worry’s a waste of my time”. This wise man was Axl Rose of the mega-group Guns N Roses, and he should know. You can’t wail like that in a bandanna for a…